MY CONFUSIONS...2

MY CONFUSIONS...2

Luckily for me, the breeze coming in through the window was just on point. I just pray sleep will not visit my side with this kind of cool air. I settled myself comfortably, and then started my personal prayers before the service started. Trust me, immediately after my prayers of thanksgiving, I went straight ahead to talk to God about this crush of a thing I have on this brother. You may be wondering why I am so bothered about it, but I am not going to give the gist now, maybe later. I wasn't able to really go far in my prayers before the service commenced. The message centered on FAITH THAT CONQUERS. It was handled by the GC. As he systematically analysed faith, using illustrations from the Bible, I was really struck. He spoke about the woman that lost her child, that even when she knew was totally gone, she still told the man of God that IT IS WELL. I then thought about all the situations of my life. All the instances I had had allowed doubt to take over.

He also mentioned that when we cannot trust God on simple and small situations, then our faith cannot be built up to the point of trusting God for big and serious circumstances. I saw myself being pictured typically in the word of God. I started to think of all the times I had doubted God and his abilities. All the time I had refused to pay a single dime out of the money I had for a contribution, all because I felt that the hope of getting another was very slim. I didn't trust God to supply for me even I had given my all. I also remembered all the times I would be ill, and it wouldn't even occur to me to pray. The first thing I would do is to call my mum, and after that rush down to the clinic. I didn't see God as a father. I only saw him as someone I pray to, but not as someone that would actually do what I ask him to. As I reminisced on all my doubts  of the past, I felt guilt wash over me like a flood. The next thing I knew, tears were trickling down my face. Then, the GC was in point two. I had to patiently wait until the prayer time, when I cried my heart out to God.

When the prayer was  rounded up, I felt great peace flood my heart. I felt great burden lifted off from my shoulders. I felt really light. I was very happy I got something great from the service. After it ended, and the usual pleasantries exchanged, I took my bag and immediately started my walk home. Yea, I know you would want to ask about demilade. She is in the maintenance team, so she would have to wait after the service to help in the packing the electrical appliances. I am in the Gospel publication team and we only meet once every week to change the church decoration and to submit our articles for editing. So, I don't wait after the service. Immediately after the service, I am off. So as I stepped out of the church, I took my headset, and looked for an appropriate song on my music album. Luckily for me, I saw crazy faith by John Waller. 'Its gonna take crazy faith.' As he sang the song, I realized that now that I have prayed, I would have to keep exercising faith in small things so that when bigger situations come my way, I would be able to face it with crazy faith.

I was neck deep in my thoughts that I didn't realize someone had been calling me from behind. It wasn't until he tapped me that I realized I had company.

Who could have disturbed this girl's meditative walk?
And now that she is walking alone with this brother at this time of the night, what would they be discussing?
Is this brother the same she is crushing on?

All these questions would be answered in the next episode, stay tuned.

I would like to conclude with this, in what way have you also been doubting God. When will you get to the stage of exercising crazy faith. I want you to know that, faith requires you to start with small things. When you start trusting God for smaller things, it won't be difficult for you to trust God on bigger situations. Because your faith in God would have developed. Why don't you pray this prayer, that God would help you to trust him. Even in that situation you are facing, and its looking as if the hope of getting out of it is dying. Tell God to help you to trust him.
For it's gonna take crazy faith.